JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994

ROBERT: Sesson # 118 on November 20, 1984, with John, Robert, and

JONATHAN: Good evening, Robert!

ROBERT: Good evening, Jonathan, welcome to our realm. It’s great to see you and be with you again.

JONATHAN: How are you feeling. 0K now?

ROBERT: I am feeling good! Unbelievable but believable.

JONATHAN: Doubtful anymore?

ROBERT: No more I am a believer.

JONATHAN: Are things happening well with you?

ROBERT: Yeah! With all the beautiful people involved. So, my friend,

JONATHAN: How are you doing, Price?

PRICE: 0K!

JONATHAN: ow are you doing Price? ow 0K, I’m going to approach you so don’t be frightened and I want to feel your energy, so I think, Robert, you should hold this while we are doing this.

EDITOR’S NOTE: JONATHAN STARTS CHECKING PRICE”S ENERGY: muttering grass, flower, energy, birds, mountains, going higher and higher searching, internal essences, going higher and higher, eagle going higher and higher, searching, and searching. 1

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 This is what I see from you, and the things what I see is the search of yourself. The search of what you are , you are trying to get back to your original roots. The original essences of your searching for yourself, not so much for the ego part of yourself but for so much of your return to your being, you need to feel where you came from. You need to feel the wind where you came from, you need to feel the soil from where you came from. For I see within the plains the wonder of nature. I see where you are comfortable with this source of nature. You are comfortable with the grass, the soil, and the animals in the plains. But by the same token you look towards the stars, the sky, the knowledge, and you go forth from this knowledge to see yourself. Ou try to go back to your former self, you try to go back to the wind that begot you, you try to go back to the sky that mothered you for you are a child of the sky. You are one of those that came from above in one form or another. The eagle symbolizes your flight, and you know what the eagle feels. For you are one with the tribe of the eagle for the eagle essences of your being are there for you. They guide you, direct you, they form the entities that are inside of vou. You know you are composed of energies; I sense a strong Native American feeling inside of you. You have a strong Native American essence inside of you. I feel your energy; your energy is one with being one with oneself. You are seeking out, seeking whom the sage may be, for the sage is inside of you. But you are the sage, you are the energy of the sage. You are the energy of your sought out expeditions for you are the brave. The brave represents your journey, the journey into the unknown, the journey defines yourself, the journey is to be one with yourself. The journey is who you are, the journey is your life. You need to seek out 2

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 your life, you need to seek out your energies, you need to return to your roots. You need to seek to the mountain top because the mountain has solace, energy, and guidance. You need to seek out those that help you to come to the mountain top. You need to find your journey; you need to seek out the sage that is inside of you. You need to be one with the sage. There is an immense amount of knowledge inside of you, there is an immense amount of energy inside of you that you need to be tapped within you. And I see these caverns inside of you, strong elements of caverns. Dark caverns, mysterious caverns, unknown territory essence of your being, these are the areas that need to be brought into the light. As I see you with your candle as you faulter into these crevices, you bring light and understanding to yourself, you bring essences to yourself, you cleanse yourself and become one with yourself. But these caverns are not to be feared but to be explored, there are parts of you that are unknown to you, there are parts of you that may frighten you. Do not be afraid! For the frighteness is not there to be frighten, it is there to keep away those that mav not know your essences, and as you guard your essences, you know your essences, now smell the understanding of your being is there. Know of understanding of the smell of who you are, are there and guard yourself, you do not want to have yourself exposed to the elements. So, the deeper and deeper you go into the caverns, the deeper you go to hide from the essences of your being, to hide those from yourself. Look into yourself and give them expression and understanding, give them love and understanding, and know thyself, know where thy whole essences exist within you. I see the candle and the candle burns brightly, and it shines upon the walls of 3

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 the caverns, and then I see on the walls of the caverns, I see these drawings, these immense wonderous drawings you need to discover inside of you. The drawings of your life and the purpose of your life and the understanding of the Native American culture inside of you. I sense that you are a strong warrior. A warrior of great, great wrath and understanding, a warrior of wisdom and a warrior of so much courage. But time has gone, is gone for time is gone for the warrior. This warrior sits alone. As his white hair droops along his shoulders, his withered form shows not his muscular structure anymore. The warrior still has strength because the warrior has inner strength. The warrior has the essences of himself. In his eyes you see the pain and suffering of his people. He feels for his people because he felt the sorrow that has become them, so he has withdrawn within his cave. Do not be fearful, for the time has come for the warriors to respond to battle, to return for the time has come for you to expose yourself to the warrior side of yourself. Inside of you, you need not find, you need not be fearful, you need to express yourself and open the doorways and open up the windows. Let the fresh air and the mountain dew fill your whole inner being. Let the grass grow under your feet, let the deer roam within your sight. Pick up your arrow and shoot the deer as you have done before. The deer is ready for you and you for it. For you must consume yourself within the deer for the deer and you are one. When you are the deer, and you are the hunter, and you need to hunt yourself to find yourself. Consume the essences of the deer, its grace„ its understanding, its connection with the earth, but you are part of the earth, you join the brotherhood of the deer. The deer and you are related. You fulfill your role as we have to fulfill our role and 4

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 understanding the essences of our being. I sense that the Native American is of you has been coming forth. You need to get in touch with that culture that understands you. You need to feel yourself and be one with yourself and understand whence you came and as the sky turns red, as the sun does set so to you may look upon the sun as a renewal and understanding and as a change of being and a change of the essences of your own self. And then I see a face smiling towards you and the face is like the face of a god and the face is like the face of the sun and the sun comes forth towards you and smiles upon your being and it guides you for it is inside of you. Feel not the outside when you can feel the inside because the inside creates the outside. So, as you feel this space and it smiles towards you, understand the guidance towards you for you are one with this and you are one with you. That you have understood the essences of your own being and of who you are. Understand who you are, understand the essence of your open being of who you are. When you are one with this understand the essences of your own being and it is one with you. Feel yourself, understand yourself and all the turmoil that I sense within you, is irrelevant because you will succeed in your turmoil. You will defeat your dragons, you will defeat your enemies, for you are a warrior, for you are a sacred warrior. You have been picked among thousands to fulfill the role. So, I know you have the strength and understanding of this role. But you know this role, you want this role to be one with you, because you have lived this role before, long before this plain was dominated by white people you were here, long before this whole area was inundated with all these elements, these pollution elements. The air was pure, and you were pure, you were 5

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 one with nature and you are one with yourself. Go back and find this, go back to the place of your birth, and find the essences of yourself and find the being of what you are. Go back to your roots to find yourself. You need to be in touch with the essences of yourself. You need to be in touch with your whole essence of your being. For you are one with the earth and the earth is one with you. Enjoy the correction within you and enjoy the feeling of the grass. Enjoy the moisture of the soil as it filters to your fingernails. You need to be in touch with the essences of your being. Enjoy the essences of your being, enjoy what you are, for your feet as they hit the grass, feel the moisture of the grass on your feet, interconnect with your grass, interconnect with your being. Interconnect with yourself for there you are feeling nature, standing there being one with nature, you are part of nature, you understand that, and you know that. Deep inside of you, and you know who you are. And I see you grow and become one with nature, and you blossom and go forth and I see a mate with you as she and you walk through the grass. And I feel the essences of your marriage to this grass. And you feel yourself as one with nature, at one with God, at one with yourself. Do you have any questions?

PRICE: All my life I have been searching and experiencing, all my adult life all the things that you said to me. These are the things that I feel about myself. I guess that I haven’t had the courage and continue to look and trying so many things to satisfy this urge. I am just wondering if it is easier and end this to give in and let this troubled go. When is this trouble going to stop or whatever?

JONATHAN: First of all, let’s assume something. One of the basic things that we have to understand is that we try to achieve 6

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 something. And what we try to achieve, we have difficulty. This is one of my most famous things, anyway. LAUGHTER: HA, HA, HA, HA! Whatever it is?’

JONATHAN: Essentially, in order to achieve anything, we have to go through difficulty. And the reason why we go through turmoil and difficulty is because we better ourselves. It’s like climbing a mountain, as we climb the mountain we grab the crevices, and start to reach plateaus. We say “Wow, this is over, Wow! This is over.” Then we look up and see another wall. Why were we given things through difficulty, we get benefit. It is only through difficulty, we get benefit. It is only though difficulty when you are talking about evolving into a better creature, a more evolved entity. It is only through difficulty that you can do this. Why is it that way? We say to ourselves why can’t things be smooth and simple. We think about achieving spirituality, we think everything is smooth but if it was smooth, we wouldn’t be creative, the only way is being creative to be like warriors, we have to engage in battle. We have to feel the urges, we have to feel the adrenaline in ourselves to give us power, to give us strength and we can’t feel that if we are calm and pleasant. We can’t feel those urges when we sit around the fire and toasting buffalo meat, no we can’t! Now, we need to go out. We need to pursue the deer, we need to pursue the buffalo, we need to feel the energy. Because the only way we can achieve true spirituality is through difficulty because difficulty makes us more spiritual. So, the more turmoil that you go through, the more chances that are there to evolve into a higher creature. Without the difficulty you can’t even evolve into a higher creature, it is the opportunity, you have been given this opportunity, you have been given this problem to 7

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 solve and your choices are extremely simple, you can pick up the challenge and pick up the spear and pursue the herd or you can lay back with the squaws and cut the meat.. But isn’t it more beneficial to meet the challenge and go through difficulty and even if I get scared, even if I get horned, or even if I get trampled. Still my energy has done, it has fulfilled itself. It has become one with nature. You are reconnecting yourself your essences through difficulty. You step higher in each step of the ladder you climb up, you experience this difficulty and when you realize it, when you are undergoing difficulty. I wish this was better for me, this is really rotten, isn’t it but afterwards how do you feel while you are going through a difficult situation. Don’t you feel that you have accomplished something, you have emersed from this situation, and you feel relieved, and you say that I am are glad it is over with. Ou have achieved something. You have changed your attitude and looked about difficulty as not as something detrimental but something that’s challenging, something that is there for you to overcome, think of it as going out to the herd. Sure, but what are you going to do? You bringing back meat to the table. You are achieving something, don’t look at difficulty or turmoil or problems as something to look down upon. It is there to challenge you and by challenging you convert difficulty into benefit. The more you overcome difficulty, the more you get benefit. Without difficulty there is no benefit the more you overcome difficulty, the more you get benefit. Without difficulty there is no benefit. Without benefit you can’t achieve anything. You need those benefits to stir you on forward. We go along these pathways; we go along these essences going through difficulty, You need to look to the sky, you need to be 8

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 an eagle, an eagle doesn’t go to the grass, it goes to the sky to achieve that you have to push yourself through, you are a warrior, you have the energy, you have the essences to push yourself through. You have the ability, you have the understanding, it’s a matter of getting in touch with yourself.

PRICE: Sorry?

JONATHAN: What you need. Did you feel that?

PRICE: Very definitely! Very definitely! And I feel like I have been confused in my life but trusting that I have been in this town about twelve or thirteen years, and it never paid off. It never really developed and been happening. And I was wondering how much longer. Either it’s going to take off or I need to wake up and realize it is time to move on from this point and all these things that you are talking about I feel as well. Find out and clarify what is that direction and is the difference coming and if not, how is this happening to me. Am I holding myself back and letting this happen for me here!-

JONATHAN: Let me say this, first of all, it is not a waste of time, you know why? Acting is essential. It is a beautiful way to get in touch with yourself. You get in touch with your emotions; you get in touch with your being. What does it? It opens your doorway, it doesn’t matter if you ever act or even act in a movie, you don’t need to, you need to spar; this is your therapy. This is the thing that makes you what you are. It’s opening your soul, opening up your whole being. It is so essential for you to be that. You need that but your role in life is not acting. It is opening you up for something else.

PRICE: I know that! I want to do it! I want to do it! 9

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994

JONATHAN: Now, the thing that I see here.

PRICE: I am really probably impatient.

JONATHAN: You not as impatient as he is! Laughter!

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is referring to Robert.

JONATHAN: Now, let me explain something to you. It is more important to be observing openings because the opening might be there, but you are not taking advantage of them and things only happen when you are ready for them to happen, and he can attest to that!

JONATHAN: Because if you’re not ready for that, not energy wise. If you are not in the same position for these things to happen, energy has to intermesh. Somebody else’s energy has to intermesh with yours in order for opening something to happen. Any type of relationship that you have, no matter what the relationship, whether it is a business relationship, a personal relationship or whatever or just meeting someone you have to be open enough to recognize these things. I don’t mean that you have to say that this is it because you are not to know it is it. It is just going to happen. But the more you open yourself up to being yourself, being one with yourself, the more these opportunities are coming your way until the right opportunity, and you will know it. It is not up here; it is over there. You have to feel it and when you meet someone you will have to feel that person. You have to feel their energy; you have to do this more. Now, let’s say that you are in an acting class and one of your students is there. You learn 10

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 to feel that person, right! And you have to do more in everyday life, you have to spiritualize everything that you do no matter what bodily function, eating, sleeping or whatever. The idea is to bring the spirit in everything because the spirit exists in everything, a plant, an animal, a stone, no matter what it is. All this is spiritual energy. Everything is composed of energy, and you have the ability to have this interrelationship with nature, which is immense here, you this interrelationship with nature, which is immense here, you need to do more. Also, you need to do more with nature. You need to get away from the city life more. You need to go into the community of nature, the animals, the plants, that energy is good for you. It is also guidance to you. And what is coming to me right now is truth, another one of my favorite subjects too! Trees are alive! Trees are beings! They are very beneficial beings; they give you guidance and understanding. You need to interrelate with nature, especially the trees because trees can tell you things and sometimes the turmoil that you experience and even the voices that you hear. Remember sometimes it takes, how should I say this, a negative aspect to produce a positive effect and what I am getting at is this. Sometimes we react more forcefully when we are pushed than we do if somebody whispers something to us. And maybe in your case, sometimes you may need to be pushed a little, 0K! And you need to follow that more. Sometimes you need to be woken up, sometimes you need to be shook up a little bit. And I think that you should also try to remember things. You are not remembering things! When you sleep, there are things that are being told to you. But you are not being too receptive to them, 0K YOU need to be more receptive. And try to remember try to write down if you 11

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 can, even if it’s a silly phrase or whatever that you remember. Keep a journal and start writing down this stuff. 0K! Then I want you to look over it. Spend some time, you need to look over what we wrote down and just sort to meditate because it may spurn some other things in you, and open up avenues, see these caverns inside of you. They need to be explored, and I see a strong Native Americanism in you. I think you need to explore that also. You need to open up. You need to get in touch with Native Americanisms about you because it is there. And you need to explore nature, you need to be in touch with nature and you need to hike more, you need to travel more, you need to climb rocks more, you need to go to the mountains more, you need to fly more, you need to be like a bird, you need to get up there, you need to push yourself more. I see this intense thing and the thing I see about you most of all is there is a place waiting for you. It’s waiting but you can’t get to this because you need to overcome difficulty. Remember through difficulty you get benefit. It is like climbing a mountain. I know it’s frustrating, sometimes it’s impatient. We all Benefit does work. Remember when vou are ready for it! Your ego may tell you this, I am tired of this. This is the most difficult life that I ever had, I think we should get rid of it. 0K! But essentially you just have to pursue that and get rid of the ego. LAUGHTER! have that thought! Look, you are only the gatekeeper; you are not the central port. Push it away! When the gardener is telling the owner what to do. You need to push the ego out, go mind the garden! Get out of here, we’re in 12

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 charge here, not you. Sometimes the ego gets too involved. It’s supposed to only guide the external world not the internal world. You have to be really in touch with yourself there and try to understand that and know what you are. Something about the blue grass is coming to me and I think maybe you are eventually going home.

PRICE: Home?

JONATHAN: 0K! I mean the east coast, Virginia probably but not right away!

PRICE: I have a question for you! It’s about owning my own life; my parents are back there! And the only reason that I am here is to get 3,000 miles away from that. And even if I never felt that I owned my own life. My Dad is not feeling well and is sick and I am getting this guilty thing and this love thing as well about being there to help out, it it feels like it’s draining out of me. I need to do for my own life and going back to Virginia on one hand is very beautiful but on the other hand it scares me to death!

JONATHAN: Let me say this, don’t worry about him! He has plenty of time, he is on call. EVERYONE: HA! HA!

JONATHAN: Now let me say this. There are things that are going to be happening in your family and what I see here is I am talking about a few years’ span. I think you need to assert yourself because you are being overshadowed and what I am sensing here is like there is dark shadow around you. And what this is your father and the fulfillment of your father and how living in your eyes of not being yourself, you 13

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 are living in your father’s shadow all the time. So, you have to get away from that you have to assert yourself and one of the things that you want to do, it seems to me that you want to be successful. You want to prove something to your father, 0K! Even though you want to prove something to your father, 0K! Even though you want to prove you are a man, in other words, you want to be successful. You can do it on your own, and you don’t have to depend on them. And in some ways, he feels the same way. He is very attached to you and this interconnection is sort of smothering you. You need to get away from that, you do need to develop that way, but what I am saying here is meaning going back there are two things that I want to tell you. Eventually, I see you going back to a rural area in Virginia, and you are going to do some work there, especially near some mountains. And I see a mountain top, you need to be close to mountains, by the way it’s good for you to be near mountains. But also, I see there are going to be some dramatic changes in your life, they have to do with your family. And some of these things are not going to be very pleasant, I am feeling tears, and I am feeling pain and tears in you. And I think that there are things that are going to happen, but you need to get through this, you can’t let it push you down. It is one of the difficulties that you have to go through this. You can’t let it push you down. It is one of the dificulties that you have to go through, and I am also seeing images of dependency and worry about your mother and how she is going to survive and stuff like that, but you need to go beyond that. Things will be taken care of by themselves. Don’t stop your life because you feel this dependency as your responsibility. In some ways it is your responsibility! In the sense that they are your parents, and 14

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 you owe something to them. But by the same token you need to be yourself and in the dichotomy that you have of where you draw the line, otherwise this is what you want to be or smothering in their karma. You don’t want to do that, and you need to develop yourself and I think in a few years, as you start to develop yourself, you will be in a better position to deal with the trauma in your family. 0K! Because I think that your father is going to die very shortly, by the way. And I don’t mean shortly like months, in time because I sense a loss and that information has not been giving to me, but I assume a loss in you. So that I am assuming your father will die soon. Okay, I sense your mother’s sorrow, and I sense that this might happen in a year, two years, three years whatever, but it is inside of you and all I am doing is just reading you and not gathering information from above. I am just reading you and within you there is a sense of loss, and that information has not been given to me, but I assume a loss to you. That hasn’t happened yet. I think that you are apprehensive about this loss because you know about this loss. Remember you know things about yourself from the future inside of you. 0K! It’s not like this is your picture of you, let’s compare it something like your genetic code, and today there are more and more people that are finding out about things in your genetic code that tells you about your life. It tells your susceptibilities to diseases etc. It is your genetic code. The same thing on the spiritual level. Remember the total being is there even though you are living in this span of your life, you have your whole life there. You can go inside yourself and exorcise these parts of you. It’s there! It takes a lot to do but it is still there. So, your whole range of this life is there and so is the range of other lives, but 15

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 everything is there. It is just a matter of perceiving; perception is the key. It’s with perception you become whole, and you are able to see what’s your role. Right now, you look at yourself and say, “What is my role?”, “What is the scope of my life?” Nobody is going to tell you because if we tell you what’s the purpose of your life. It is there to be discovered that is why you are here, you’re here to discover and learn and be in touch with yourself. If everyone tells you, what you are going to do. Well, I did it. Well, I did it. So, why am I here? What is the sense of being here? You need this turmoil, you need this pain, you need this existence to get in touch with yourself and develop yourself and through turmoil and pain, we become whole, it is a healing process and makes a truer and more honest person when you experience things, when you have pain and you met somebody that is undergoing pain couldn’t you feel a closer bond with the that person than to intellectualize what pain really feels like. It is the same as if you have problems with your parents and you meet someone who has problems with their parents, you can sympathies with these people and you’re an actor how do you feel or fill these roles and you become like that person, that is what you are doing , you become that role and you become like that person. You are understanding the essence of your being, you understand what it feels like. We are dealing with emotions. How do you emote? Right! This is what you are doing but you need to take this from acting and put it into your soul. Feel these things inside, feel those caverns inside, light up these caverns. See those beautiful paintings and they are beautiful, mark my words, I have seen them, but you need to go inside and see those caverns. Because what they are going to do is give you keys, keys to your 16

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 existence, but you have to learn to be able to read the writings on the wall. These are writings on the wall that give you the key to that you want to do, that you need to do in this lifetime and being in touch with yourself and feeling where your life is going. Sometimes when you are back, you look at yourself Essentially, getting my train of thought back, as we go through this difficulty, we have this difficulty and become one with ourselves and we become and we learn more about ourselves we learn the key to ourselves, we learn we look back at our life, 0K! You may not think that there’s a pattern but there is a pattern, there is a logical pattern. May not be logical, but we don’t deal in logic, but as you are going through this painful situation, you say what is the purpose of my life, may not be logical but we don’t deal in logic, but you going through this painful situation , you may say what is the purpose of my life, when you reach ninety years old which you will, you will see this pattern that has developed, you will see the way things happen in your life. How you progress through the years, right now, you may not see a certain pattern as it develops because your life has been set up but as you get more advanced and climb the ladder more and sometimes you do the right thing and sometimes you don’t. But excluding those actions of this you will see how the opportunities have formed a pattern. If you don’t fulfill one thing, it will resurface in a different form for you to fulfill because you have to be certain as everybody does have certain problems that need to overcome in this lifetime and if you don’t deal with these problems, they become more and more and more until you deal with those problems resurfacing, resurfacing until you deal with those problems because they are meant to be solved and if you fail to solve them in 17

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 this lifetime, sorry but you have to come back to solve them. Sorry for you but you don’t want to do that again. Right! You rather solve your problems during this lifetime, and it would be better that way. And it is just that you need to understand that as you look back that you will see what you are. You will see the whole essences of yourself, what you are. I am going to readdress this and when I said you will reach ninety years old, the old sage that I see in you, is you. I think you are going to become a very wise and understanding person as you advance in age and people are going to look up to you for knowledge and understanding and you are going to be directing people to do certain things because people are going to come for wisdom for I think in you, you have this aura of wisdom and this old sage that is inside of you is going to come forth and it is going to come forth as you advance in age and you develop more and more on this level and becoming totally in touch with yourself. I think that you should really go towards the Native American culture and the Native American essences within you because I sense a strong Native American feeling within you. You have a strong Native American balance, vou need to go back to that balance, you need to go back to those roots. You have to get back in touch especially now because we’re entering a series of changes. I think you need to get away from urban culture more and leave that and find something that you would really like to do along the Native American culture and its needs, it has to be with nature, something that is in touch with nature, you need to be around trees, grass, and mountains. You need to be really in touch with that part of your life, instead of urban smog and stuff. I think it is more detrimental for you to developing your need to find a society that’s more beneficial for 18

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 your feelings, even if it is not totally Native American, but those people that follow a Native American path, even though they are not Native American, I feel that’s inside of you. You need to go back; you need to go back to those roots and become one with yourself. Now you really have to find that culture, even if it is not what you want right away. You need to go back to being in touch with the part of yourself. It is really important for you to do that. It’s going to be beneficial, I am seeing opportunities for you there, not only spiritual opportunities but financial opportunities as well.

PRICE: I’ll probably spend the rest of my life there!

JONATHAN: Not really, we can overcome these in time, wouldn’t you like one of his checks.

PRICE: YEP!

JONATHAN: Give him One oof your checks! HA! HA!HA!

PRICE: YEAH! EDITOR”S NOTE: JONATHAN WAS KIDDING ROBERT TO GIVE PRICE ONE OF HIS CHECKS:

PRICE: You see me that would be in the nineties but the health problems that I have been experiencing in the last few years that will pass.

JONATHAN: Yes, I suggest that there are things that you need to do and like anything I see you living, and all that I am seeing is your potential. I am going to say to you that it’s up to you; I can’t determine what your life is going to be. You can run out of here and get hit by a 19

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 car because you feel so negative and hateful, you can do that, but I don’t sense that. I sense that you are going to live here a long time unless you get hit by a car.

PRICE: Maybe in another lifetime but not in this one.

JONATHAN: But I think that on your health problems you are going to see a path, in other words you are going to seek help to cure the problem within you. Also, I sense that some of these caverns inside of you cause your health problems because you’re hiding from them. You need to expose them, you need to get that candle and light up the caverns more because like anything all physical elements, all physical beings, all anything are caused on an energy level. And sometimes we try to cure the physical element, and it doesn’t get cured because the spiritual element that is still there. So, we need to realize that when you go for cures you need to deal with your spiritual side too! Sometimes you have no idea what is causing it and the reason you don’t is because you ae not aware of it. Because you need to be more in touch with yourself. You need to meditate on that part of your body because sometimes your body will tell you. You have that talk with your body. Have you ever talked to your body? Talk to your liver, ask it what’s wrong with you? It might answer you.

PRICE: • Maybe that’s the feeling in my ears?

JONATHAN: A lot of times it is just the idea. The body is a wonderful mechanism; it corrects itself a lot but sometimes it needs to get your attention. So, it does things, sometimes to get your attention and sometimes it is from past abuses. Remember if you abuse the body in any form, for instance if you were a heavy drinker or whatever and 20

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 your liver got damaged, eventually that organ is going to tell you that something is wrong. For that what the body does, it does things, when something is wrong, you shouldn’t do that ! So, the more you purify.

JONATHAN: Of course, I can tell you! yourself and have a strict diet and the more you eliminate the toxins, some of the toxins and some of these problems, go beyond lifetimes, not just this lifetime but beyond lifetimes. And some of the things that you carry with you, you have to release the baggage. And some of this baggage that you have had nothing to do with this lifetime, but you still carry it forth and you forget to leave it at home. I mean, I sense that your father stuff, not only this father, but the father before and the father before that, you have had this issue, this is one of the major issues for you. Sometimes, we repeat issues in lifetimes because we haven’t completely resolved them. And some of the baggage you have with your father relationship in this lifetime, is like that and is due to father relationships in prior lifetimes. And you need to understand that, and in a lot of things, for instance you may feel certain things to your father that have no relationship to him. And if you were to tell him that, he would say “What are you talking about?” But it is an issue to you that is all that matters. And he is the father but you have to release him and to realize that some of these problems are from previous fathers or even previous times that you were a father and these issues you have carried on because you haven’t purified yourself with your relationship with your father in this lifetime, you in turn can remove this issue from prior lifetimes too because that was an issue that you entered in this lifetime too because bit was not resolved in prior lifetimes. So, you need to do that and depending 21

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 where this stuff is coming from that is something you have to find out! I don’t mean chatter between participants.

PRICE: Can you tell me? CHATTER AMONG PARTICIPANTS.

JONATHAN: Of course I can tell you!

ROBERT: But will you?

JONATHAN: But will you chatter, that’s the whole key, that’s the quest, what’s the point of me living your life for you, you have to experience it and I know that you realize this is good which is something that we don’t go around it, telling you. You don’t want me to get in trouble either, right!

PRICE: I have one more question about a mate! I am questioning finding out about a mate, you indicated about a mate in the reading, and I have just gotten out of a horrible relationship, a very educational relationship. And I always felt that there was somebody special for me, and of the feelings at all and people in my life and in the reading you mentioned that you saw me with a special mate, so I am wondering at some point of meeting this mate.

JONATHAN: Yes, I don’t want to disappoint you, actually the mate that I saw a squaw, and this seems in the future. So, I am saying that this is not the only relationship that you are going to have. But it seems to me that it’s a very loving relationship. It’s just the way you touch her, the way you hold her, and the way you related to her. And remember what I am seeing you is not what you are now. I am seeing you in an Indian form for essentially you have a Native American soul and when 22

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 I see things I don’t sometimes see you in your physical form, I see what you are and this person with you as a Native American soul. So, I see this in the energy form, and you seem to be very lovable, very understanding, very compatible. So, I see you in the wilderness, walking on the grass, and among the trees and such you seem to be very pleasant to one another, you seem very emotional, in touch with one another, you seem very pared with one another, very close just a soulmate type. That’s what I see inside of you.

PRICE: This is at some point in my life.

JONATHAN: At some point, I would say this was sometime in the future. I am talking five, six or ten years.

PRICE: Not Thursday or Friday?

JONATHAN: Not Thursday or Friday or the next time you meet someone at the supermarket. Now, let me see if I have anything on this. What I see here Aum!….l see a dish, a whirling dish but it is more than a dish, it’s like a cup that goes around and comes up like this, a spiral dish. 0K, bear with me, bear with me! What I sense here is this person is in a developmental state. Its mass is forming, it is not stable, it’s changing. I also sense a little pain and suffering which can be detrimental if you are not open to it because that person needs a lot of attention, needs a lot of care, it seems like a delicate flower that needs to be nurtured and what that does for you, remember that means you have to do more. You have to be more understanding, and I don’t sense any negative energy in this person at all, and I don’t think it senses any darkness at all. But I sense the pain and suffering that this person has undergone, and I sense that it is going to make it 23

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 harder on you to understand, then I sense the compatibility. If I compare the two women there is more compatibility, more of an interrelationship and while this is more understanding and caring and even though there is an infatuation. If the relationship develops it could become this intertwining, but it is going to be a lot of work on your part, it is going to be open and understanding, and I sense a series of emotional crises, and you have to decide how deep that you want to go. How you feel, how your heart feels about it. If this is what you want because it can detract from your path, and you have to remember that and as far as I am concerned your path is the most important thing. So, you can’t have anything that can distract from it. But at the same time, I don’t think you should, what’s the word, because this woman can’t be harmed at all because she is a delicate person, and I don’t think you should misguide her in any way. And you should be very open with her and how you feel and if you feel that she is draining your energy as she might, which can be detrimental to you. You have to be really open about that and not make her have guilt feelings because she is in this terrible, painful mode. But at the same token, you can help her, and you can open up her to other things that help relieve the pain and suffering that I sense here, you can give her guidance and understanding. You can help her along her path,. Which is probably the better route than to let yourself be a long suffering person and get drown in this emotion. 0K!

PRICE: Along the lines a squaw, a Native American in Virginia? The daughter of a chief of Indians?

JONATHAN: And the reason I sense a squaw, this squaw is a very special person, she is really benevolent, she comes from royalty, she 24

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 has some royal blood in her. And in royal blood, I don’t mean European royal blood, Native American royal, 0K! I sense she is very special, very connected, and the image that I get is she is very light, she is not a dark person and when I look at her, her hair seems almost white and I might be seeing it not in a physical form, I’m seeing it, it’s not white like it’s old but it’s not blonde either.

ROBERT: Platinum!

JONATHAN: Why you are looking, yea it’s platinum! It is very flowing. Her hair is very natural, smooth and it has body to it. There is nothing detrimental that I can see from her. She is wearing a necklace, made out of beads and she has an animal skin garment on her, but it is very flowing, very delicate and she moves softly, how gracefully, she is like a deer to me. You know how graceful a deer is? And what’s her father’s name?

PRICE: Her last name is Indian/Native American. I can’t think of her name, it is not Pocahontas! She is the Chief’s daughter.

JONATHAN: ; Give me a moment, I am not getting anything….the same woman. It seems like it is the same woman, so it may be the cards are already thrown. Maybe that is where your life should be. It seems to me, but this might not happen right away. You have a lot of work to do besides. I don’t think of that as detrimental, everybody does. I think you should interconnect, and I think you should not lose contact with this woman. I think you need to keep in contact with here because you do not want things to happen to deprive you of your future. Because you have to go along this path, but you have work to do. This is why you are here essentially to do this work. This place is a healing 25

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 place despite the city. There is energy here that is very benevolent especially in parts of the city. Especially like Santa Monica it is an especially benevolent area, and it has to go back to the American culture because it was a special place in the Native American history. And so, I think that is why certain things there happens. And it’s because there is like an energy vortex there and is coming soon when you need to go back to Virginia, I mean soon in a few years. But think you need to get your stuff going and you are on that pathway, 0K! You need to follow that and sometimes it’s hard. I realize the struggle that you have gone through and there’s more struggle ahead. But you have to look beyond that! Because there are things that you need to do. This is preparing you for those things, the more difficulty you go through and later on you will be in tune with that.

PRICE: The Native American becoming my wife, how is this happening to me. It is hard to realize this! How is this happening to me? I don’t know where to turn, how is this happening might not like it?

JONATHAN: But you won’t, I mean that you will be satisfied. We don’t want you satisfied. It is just like that, you need to do this, you need to go through that. If you were satisfied you would settle down here when you were not supposed to! This is a training exercise for you. And you need to go back to Virginia because that is where your fulfillment is, that’s where your mountaintop is. 0K! You have to go back because there are things that you are going to have to do there. These are just the preparatory steps for you. Besides the relationship, there are many things that are more important than the relationship. Essentially, you need to go back to Virginia because this may not be here too long. 26

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 GROUP: HA! I-IA! HA!

JONATHAN: t’s just that you have to follow your energy and we are going back to a time where certain parts are more important to be at because of the energy changes. I think that you can do much good by going back redirecting your life there. Once you get some of this stuff resolved, you will know when you go back. I’ll tell you that!

PRICE: The word that bothers me is to go back

JONATHAN: Well don’t use the word go back. Use the word go forward. Go forward again.

PRICE: here are so many decisions.

JONATHAN: But you are going to resolve that long before you go back, that has to be resolved. You will probably return a couple of times and some of that is going to be unpleasant for you because of the sorrow that’s involved but it is important that you go back. You need to say goodbye again to resolve this relationship with your father. That is really important for you to do.

PRICE: I know it is kind of sad that the meeting is going to be said for my mother.

JONATHAN: Well, mothers have more influence than fathers anyway. It is just one of the things that you are going to have to resolve and cut the apron strings and that, I mean, that’s really hard to do, especially some people who don’t take no for an answer. So, you need to really be determined to go back and meet White Deer again. This is going to shift a little bit, in other words things are going to change you still you 27

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 would be in Virginia, but you may move a little bit, move out of, move towards the mountain top.

JONATHAN: So, part of that relationship you wouldn’t be close by. It is not like that you are going to be next door and you’re not always going to have your mother at your ear either. And eventually she will pass over as we are all aware of it, we all do. It is the evitable thing to happen that she will be going to go through a lot of sorrow and a lot of pain and being by herself. And you can’t, how should I say that, caught in that turmoil either because that can be very draining on you. So, you need to be able to make sure that she is taken care of but not immersed in it because you can’t live her life too! You do as you can for her but at the same time don’t get immersed and drowned in that sorrow and that can drag you down and prevent you from going on with what you are supposed to be. So, you rarely have to consider that, 0K! I think that Virginia is better for you in the long run because it is going to open up some of the wounds inside of you and make them better, heal them better or whatever. You need to go back to your roots. One of the most essential things about you is your roots. You need to go back where you are more comfortable and where you belong.

PRICE: I feel that I belong here.

JONATHAN: I don’t think that you feel that you belong here. You feel that you belong here. You feel that you have to go but you don’t want to go back. You feel your relationship is preventing you, but it is a dichotomy, but you don’t want to, you have this preparation of going back. But you will overcome that and feel more comfortable when you 28

JONATHAN: ‘s JOURNALS SESSION #118 NOVEMBER 20, 1994 go back. But you will overcome that and feel more comfortable when you go back. Anything else, are you all set!

ROBERT: I have some!

JONATHAN: You do? I thought I was going to have a free session here! HA! HA! HA!

EDITOR’S NOTE: TO BE CONTINUED SESSION 118 B WILL FOLLOW SOON. 29